If I used this space to tell you everything about myself, you'd have no reason to read my blogs, now would you? (OK, the truth is I don't really feel like filling this "About Me" section out. Hey, at least now you know I'm lazy.)
As a former DJ who considers himself "a Hip-Hop aficionado"; someone who doesn't take the art form lightly; someone who more than likely has better taste in music than you do (I'm just sayin'), it bothers me to hear fans defend today's music. I suppose I should get with the program and "stop hatin'" - I mean, things have changed, as they always do - but damn it, it's just not that easy for me.
Here's what happened: A few months ago on Twitter, I said that the Burger King commercial Darius Rucker did a few years ago led to the "downfall" of his career. (I know "Hootie" isn't a rapper, but you'll see where I'm going with this. Just bear with me.) I was half-joking, but minutes later, I get a reply from a troll Rucker fan who doesn't even follow me: "So you're saying it's not OK to do a commercial and get paid?" I responded, "No, but it's a bad commercial, in my opinion."
Earlier today, I saw all kinds of tweets in my timeline from people, mostly women, who were talking excitedly about Soulja Boy Tell'Em's appearance on the View. Now I didn't say anything, but I did re-tweet another user who basically said he wouldn't turn his television on since he knew Soulja Boy was going to be on it. Seconds later, a fan/defender says something to the effect of the following: "Stop Hatin'! He's making his money!"
See, that's what I'm talking about. Nowadays you can defend anything as long as you remind the naysayer of any financial gain. Lawyers could have a field day with this: "Yes, Your Honor, my client did indeed supply the drugs that caused the victim's overdose. But he should be found 'not guilty' because he did make money off of the deal. The prosecution is just hating."
The point I'm making is this: I can give you a list of reasons why I think Rakim is the greatest rapper ever, or why I affectionately refer to my favorite producer as "Lord Premier". But if you list any variation of "he's making his money!" as one of the reasons why you like a certain rapper, it will be almost impossible for me to consider you a true Hip-Hop fan. I'm just sayin'.
As of this writing, Mother's Day is just hours away. A joyous occasion for most of you, it's the day you show appreciation for the woman who gave you life by showering her with flowers, cards, gifts, and maybe by taking her out for lunch or dinner - or better yet, maybe you'll do the cooking. But it's not exactly the happiest day for me.
Because tomorrow is also the 18th anniversary of my mother's passing.
One thing I inherited from Mom is a love for music. She had quite a collection of 45s and albums that I wasn't even allowed to touch until I was about 12 or 13 years old. It was probably a good decision on her part; it was around that time when I learned how to scratch and cut, using the volume knob as a cross fader. I got an ass whipping every time she caught me doing it. (And you know what? I still wouldn't change a thing. I would go on to become a DJ from 2000 to 2005 partly because of it.)
My mom had little tolerance for the music of the 80's. She would always say things about music not sounding like it used to. I get a feeling that if she was still here, she would hate today's music even more. Lord knows I do (with a few exceptions). I swear, every time I complain aloud to no one in particular about songs that actually have the word "stanky" in the title, it reminds me of her complaining about songs with no singing in it. "It's not even music! 'Hip-hop, hippity-hip-hop'? What are they talking about?" (She did like a few rap songs, though. Three are included below.)
So if you'll indulge me, I would like to share a few of her favorite songs here. I think of her everytime I hear these (including "A Song for Momma", released a few years after her passing), and I know she is somewhere listening and smiling - and when appropriate, dancing.
I love you, Mom. (Monday, January 31, 1944 - Sunday, May 12, 1991)
If there's one thing we know about the Republican Party, it's the fact that they love to scare the living shit out of the citizens of this nation. It's a fact that's certainly not lost on MSNBC's (and Air America's) Rachel Maddow, who not only criticizes the GOP's latest attempt to make us lose control of our excrement, but also shows the absurdity of that attempt through parody.
There comes a time when words, phrases or gestures lose their coolness. When Paris Hilton, for example, trademarked the phrase "That's Hot", I knew it was time to stop using it - not because I feared a copyright infringement lawsuit, mind you (although part of me hopes Ms. Hilton didn't just become my third reader), it's just that when certain words go mainstream, they lose their impact.
Well, thanks to CNN's T.J. Holmes and (especially) Kira Phillips, we can now bury "swagga" in the slang graveyard.
WATCH:
At this point, I just hope CNN doesn't decide to air a special report called "Is It Still Trickin' If You Got It?"
Last night, I had an interesting confrontation with a fellow Twitter user over this "Tea Party" protest that Republicans and Conservatives are planning on April 15th. He had gotten angry with me for re-tweeting a post by another user featuring the above picture, which he called "crass". And you know what? It is pretty crass. But when Republicans and conservatives say things like this...
...Then you should expect Democrats and Liberals - especially Rachel Maddow and Ana Marie Cox - to have a little fun with it.
If you follow me on Twitter, or pay any attention to my MySpace status updates, you know one thing about me if nothing else: I am not a Lil Wayne fan (and I'm from New Orleans!). I've called his music "whack", and I've repeatedly said his skills are "criminally overrated". But like the old saying goes, "Even a broken clock is right twice a day".
Yes, I know the song is kinda old, but I didn't even pay it any attention until Wayne performed it at the 2009 Grammys a couple of months ago. And while it's not enough to turn me into a fan, it is enough to make me stop criticizing him.
It happens at least once a month. I'll be at the supermarket, the laundromat, or a fast food restaurant - it's even happened at work - and out of nowhere some random person, usually female, will look at me and say a sentence that starts with my four least favorite words: "You look just like...!" What usually follows is a mad dash home from my errand, me dropping whatever I have with me at the front door, and running to the bathroom mirror to stare at it for 45 minutes or so while repeating, "I LOOK ABSOLUTELY NOTHING LIKE...!" - or, on the rarest of occasions, "Oh, OK. I see the resemblance".
Now sometimes I'm flattered by the comments ("Taye Diggs? Really?"); other times, well, not so much ("Jimmy Walker?! Man fuck you!"). Nevertheless, I'd like to present my readers - both of you - with a partial list of celebrities people have claimed I resemble. Enjoy the show.
DAVE CHAPPELLE. This is the one I get most frequently, and the one I take the least offense to. I certaintly don't mind getting "mistaken" for one of the most brilliant comedians out there, but it would be nicer if I had his talent - and bank account. Oh well, one can dream.
RAY NAGIN. Ah, Ray Nagin. The New Orleans mayor who made a multitude of mistakes in his response to Hurricane Katrina. The man who made those infamous "Chocolate City" comments. The man whose head is so damn shiny, it makes me want to buff mine with Turtle Wax. But my female friends back home have said that they find him attractive, so I guess looking like him isn't really a bad thing. Being like him, however, would suck.
RAKIM. Here's what happened: About four years ago I was at home practicing on my turntables. (I lost my equipment and record collection due to Katrina. But that's a whole 'nother blog.) I had the cover of Rakim's album, The Master, in view when my then-roommate's friend walked in to listen. She saw the cover, did a double-take, and said, "Oh, my God - I thought that was a picture of you!" So what if she was probably high when she said it? Being told I look like the greatest MC of all time was still flattering.
THAT BUFFOON FROM THOSE "JOE BOXER" COMMERCIALS. You remember Vaughn Lowery, don't you? He's the guy who gained 15 minutes of fame for shuffling around on national television while wearing nothing but drawers and a shit-eating, "Yessa, boss!" grin. He's also the grandson of Dr. Joseph E. Lowery, who co-founded the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) with Martin Luther King, Jr. I find that fact quite ironic, because whenever one of those 30-second minstrel shows aired, I'd swear I could hear the voices of all the men and women who fought and died for civil rights yell "AW, COME ON, MAN!" from their graves in unison. A woman - my sister-in-law, no less! - said I looked like him; if a guy had said it, I might have punched him. (Great. Now the civil rights leaders who preached non-violence are yelling at me from their graves.)
It should have taken something like the election of our first African-American president to motivate me to post my first real blog since July. It should have taken a personal victory - as of today I have been sober for eight months and three weeks - to give me the inspiration I needed to finally sit down and speak to my faithful readers (both of you). But no, it isn't that serious - at least not to me. I wish everyone felt that way.
It all started on Twitter, a micro-blogging site where users post short messages ("tweets") for all of their friends ("followers") to see. (I shouldn't even have to explain this. Even if you don't have a Twitter profile, you've undoubtedly heard of it.) I signed up on Thanksgiving 2008; I've been hopelessly addicted ever since. Anyway, one of my good online friends, someone I "met" in 2006 by way of a Boondocks fan forum, also has a Twitter profile. (She also has profiles on other social networking sites, including MySpace.) Since we have always been able to build on a number of topics - music and politics in particular - following her tweets was a no-brainer. The favor was returned almost immediately.
Sometime last week, I "re-tweeted" a post by another user concerning what is now known as the "Un-follow Diddy" movement. I never even followed him, but when someone decides to diss the man I once called "the Agent Smith of Hip-Hop" so publicly, they'll get props from me in the form of a re-tweet. Well, my friend, who knows how fearless I am when it comes to criticizing those artists who I believe are hurting Hip-Hop (more on that later), didn't take kindly to the re-tweet. Not only did she tweet her dismay to the movement (both publicly and to me directly), not only did she start following Diddy "in spite of" the movement, she also stopped following me on Twitter and deleted herself from my MySpace friends list.
But you know what, I'm not going to resort to name-calling like I would if I was still a hopelessly loud drunkard. However, I would like to address one of the names I was called in her most recent MySpace blog - "Playa Hata" - and why I actually consider it a compliment.
I've been listening to Hip-Hop ever since I was eight years old. Throughout those 29 years of my life I've come to care for the art form as if it was a dear friend. And whenever I thought it was headed in the wrong direction, I said so fearlessly: When Vanilla Ice released "Ice Ice Baby", a lot of Hip-Hop fans (and artists) thought it was whack, and we said so publicly and fearlessly.
But sometime in the late 90s, whackness figured out a way to better market and promote itself, earning it more airplay and acceptance than ever before. It was also around that time that whackness coined a new phrase in an attempt to combat any criticism it encountered - player hater.
To most, a player hater is someone who doesn't have the success or possessions someone else has, and instead of trying to get it for himself, he jealously criticizes the other person for having it. (I actually agree with that definition.) But most whack rappers use the phrase toward any fan/artist who dared to criticize them for, well, being whack. And out of fear of being called a hater (as Black Star stated on "Hater Players", posted above), some fans and artists kept criticism of whackness to themselves.
I, however, never bit my tongue. And I never will. There are a whole bunch of rappers nowadays - Plies, Rick Ross, and 50 Cent, just to name a few - who I believe are criminally over-rated. There are trends - AutoTune, for example - that I think have long out-lived its usefulness (if it ever had any). The current lack of lyrical creativity is, in my opinion, destroying Hip-Hop. And I care too much about the music and culture to just sit back and say nothing. If that makes me a player hater, then so be it.
One final note: The sad irony is that the friend I lost always said I should blog more often.
