Maybe the Professional Left Secretly Misses Bush

A few months ago, I posted a tweet that read, "Because if I don't, I shouldn't complain. And I love to complain. #WhyIVote". And the eight years of the Bush Administration gave me plenty to complain about. That's not to say the current administration is perfect - what administration is? - but Obama has given me fewer reasons to complain.

Unfortunately, too many pundits on the left seem to look for reasons to criticize Obama. For instance, when the President gave his post-Gulf oil spill speech, not only did Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews (among others) engage in senseless nit-picking, but the following night Rachel Maddow actually gave the speech she wished Obama had given. Can you imagine what Olbermann's Special Comment would have sounded like if Bill O'Reilly or Sean Hannity had pulled that kind of stunt?

And just last Friday, when Cenk Uygar (while guest-hosting The Dylan Ratigan Show) and Jane Hamsher took issue with a paragraph from remarks Obama gave at a Greenwich fundraiser (they said nothing about the rest of the speech, mind you), Armstrong Williams - Armstrong Fucking Williams! - was forced to defend the President. If that doesn't prove that the Professional Left (yeah, I said it!) has gone completely batshit, I don't know what does.

(By the way, I think Obama was talking about certain congressional Democrats and pundits, not his voters, as Cenk and the others would have you believe.)

But maybe there's a reason for all of this hackery, and there's only one that makes any sense to me: The Prefessional Left secretly - perhaps subconsciously - misses George W. Bush.

Allow me to explain. For eight years the Bush Administration gave the pundits (and quite honestly, most of the country) more than a few reasons to complain: A record deficit, an unjust war, torture, the outing of a C.I.A. agent, the botched response to Katrina - there's not a lot to like here, folks. And I think the Professional Left had grown so accustomed to an incompetent Commander-In-Chief, they haven't quite learned how to adjust to a competent one. Hence the constant bitching.

Look, I'm not saying the President shouldn't be criticized at all (I've already said that this administration wasn't perfect), but if you're going to do so, make sure your criticisms are warranted. Otherwise you run the risk of looking about as competent as a Fox News commentator. And seriously, who the fuck wants that?

(Special thanks to Humanity Critic for the sending me those last three links. Follow him on Twitter.)

The Listening: Bun B & DJ Premier, "Let 'Em Know"

I'll go 'head and admit it: I'm not exactly Bun B's biggest fan. I don't think he's garbage, I'm just not his biggest fan. But a funny thing happens when someone rhymes over a "Lord Premier" track - they automatically sound better.

Listen:



Now if only Nikki Minaj would enlist Premier...

On second thought, she doesn't need Premier, she needs Jesus.

The Listening: Guru's Story-Telling Skills Are Not to Be Slept On!

I don't know about you, but I consider myself a true Hip-Hop aficionado. And as a former DJ, one thing I hate is having my taste in music questioned. (No, I'm not this arrogant about anything else - certainly not my writing.) So when someone has something negative to say about a song or artist I like, or if they don't think an artist is as good as I think he/she is, I tend to take it rather personally. (This coming from someone who disses Lil Wayne like it's an Olympic event.)

OK, here's what happened: About three weeks ago on Twitter, a certain music critic dude you might have heard of (I'm not naming him here) decided to ask his followers who they thought the five greatest MCs were. Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, which I followed closely, a recording artist (not naming him, either) gave his top five favorite story-tellers in Hip-Hop; included on the list was Biggie, Scarface, and of course Slick Rick was at the top. So I decided to ask the music critic, "Am I the only one who thinks Guru's story-telling skills are slept on ('Just to Get a Rep', 'Soliloquy of Chaos', 'All For the Cash')?"

His response: "Yep."

Not the response I was looking for. Look, I realize Guru wasn't exactly Slick Rick, but if you don't think he was one of Hip-Hop's best story-tellers, then maybe you should give those tracks (plus a few others) another listen. That's where one of Blogspot's least-read bloggers comes in. (Six followers in my first year! Fuck with me now!)




"Just To Get A Rep"

From Step In The Arena







"Soliloquy Of Chaos"

From Daily Operation







"Sights In The City"

From Jazzmatazz Volume 1







"The Planet"

From Hard To Earn







"All 4 Tha Ca$h"

From Full Clip: A Decade Of Gang Starr







"Betrayal"

From Moment Of Truth







"Sabotage"

From The Ownerz

Credit is (Over)Due...

You see that blog description up there? I didn't come up with that on my own. It was actually the brainchild of one of my favorite tweeters, @mcwbr. You see, he recommended me for Follow Friday, and here's how he described my timeline:

#FF Follow Friday @phive0phor. Hip hop and acid sarcasm.less than a minute ago via webWiddershins Micawber
mcwbr

I should've given him credit for that a long time ago. (That tweet is actually from October, 2009. I don't know why it says "less than a minute ago".) Apologies to you, mcwbr. And thanks.

Oh, and check out his blog!

An Open Letter to Michael Steele

Dear Mr. Steele:

Wassup?! (Sorry. Couldn't resist.)

First, I guess I should offer some form of belated congratulations for being the first African-American to head the Republican National Committee. I've never intentionally voted Republican in my life (in the 2008 Election, I had to vote for a Republican judge because he was running unopposed), but you still made history - even though I believe you won the position mainly because America had just elected its first African-American President, and this was the RNC's way of saying "Yes we can, too!"

But that's not really the reason why I'm writing this letter. I'm writing in response to the recent comments you made to someone who asked if Black people had a reason to vote Republican. Yes, I know this is a rather old story, and we currently have bigger things to worry about, but this has been on my mind since I first read it:

Why should an African-American vote Republican?

"You really don't have a reason to, to be honest -- we haven't done a very good job of really giving you one. True? True."

A shocking comment coming from a Black Republican, but not quite as shocking as the following:

"We have lost sight of the historic, integral link between the party and African-Americans," Steele said. "This party was co-founded by blacks, among them Frederick Douglass. The Republican Party had a hand in forming the NAACP, and yet we have mistreated that relationship. People don't walk away from parties, Their parties walk away from them.

"For the last 40-plus years we had a 'Southern Strategy' that alienated many minority voters by focusing on the white male vote in the South. Well, guess what happened in 1992, folks, 'Bubba' went back home to the Democratic Party and voted for Bill Clinton."

Of course, "Jamal" has been voting Democratic for even longer.

Now I'm not suggesting that Democrats can't be racially insensitive - Remember some of the anti-Obama rhetoric from Hillary's camp during the Democratic primary? Or Harry Reid's now-infamous "negro dialect" gaffe? - but Republicans, for the most part, don't even pretend to pursue the Black vote. Hell, half of the 2008 front runners didn't even bother to show up for a debate at Morgan State University, a historically Black college. And the above "Southern Strategy" comment proves you believe, like most Black liberals believe, that the Republicans view the Black vote in the same way I view an iPad: It would be nice to have, but it's not something worth going out of the way to get.

So I have to ask you, Mr. Steele: Why would you continue to identify yourself with such a political party?

Sincerely,

phive0phor

P.S.: No, I'm not suggesting you become a Democrat - you're a bit too conservative - but becoming an Independent doesn't sound like a bad idea. Ask Charlie Crist.

The Listening: DJ Premier's Guru Tribute Mix

I know there are a lot of Guru tribute mixes out there - and every one I've heard so far has been dope - but as far as I'm concerned, this is the only one that matters.

Keith "Guru" Elam Tribute Mix by Dj Premier Blog Radio on Mixcloud

Keith "Guru" Elam, 1961 - 2010

(via djpremierblog.com)

Rachel Maddow, and Liz Cheney's Twisted Terror Logic

I've said it before: If there's one thing we know about the Republicans, it's the fact that they love to scare the living shit out of Americans. Almost from the moment Obama took office, Liz Cheney (along with her father Dick Cheney) has been milking the "Obama's not keeping us safe" meme for all it's worth. In the following clip from tonight's Rachel Maddow Show, Ms. Maddow takes Ms. Cheney's logic and turns it against her - and she kinda sorta gets herself in trouble for it.

WATCH:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

To My Patient Reader - Um, I Mean Readers

I know I haven't been updating this blog a lot lately, and I know at least one of you three readers are disappointed. I have been busy, and writer's block* has been plaguing me for months. All I can do is promise you that I will try my best to update this blog more often. And thank you for sticking around.


*I should've said "blogger's block". I don't consider myself a writer.

My Go-To Videos from 2009

Welcome to 2010! I don't know about you, but during a year full of Tea Bagging, townhall knuckleheads, AutoTuned hooks, and more celebrity deaths then I remember experiencing (especially during the summer), I needed a lot of cheering up. Thank God for the Interwebs. And thank God for the people who uploaded the following videos.

The Onion: Sony Releases Stupid Piece of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work

This is the video that prompted Wil Weaton ("Wesley Crusher" from Star Trek: The Next Generation) to profess his love for the fake news site: "I love The Onion so much, I want to marry it." Me? I like 'em, but I ain't tryin' to put a ring on 'em.



Funny or Die: Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile

I don't keep up with celebrity gossip as much as a lot of other people, but in 2008, I couldn't turn on the news without hearing some mention of Lindsay Lohan's personal problems. Thankfully, she started 2009 off on the right foot by making fun of herself in this video.

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

The Rachel Maddow Show: InsaniTea

The next time a Tea Partier accuses you of using "Teabagger" as a derogatory term, remind them that they started it. The following clip will help prove your case.



The Political Carnival's Tweetspot: Sarah the Quitter

GottaLaff, from The Political Carnival Blog, has been doing her readers and Twitter folowers a huge favor: she follows Sarah Palin so we don't have to. Taken from her now-defunct series of radio segments called Tweetspots, She uses Palin's own tweets to make her listeners laugh ("Hence the name... Gotta...") - and she did this before William Shatner. Suck it, Kirk!



Funny or Die: Denise Richards' Funbags

Just... Just watch.

Denise Richards' Funbags from Denise Richards

Countdown with Keith Olbermann: Don't Call Me Liz!

I believe this was Olbermann's last "WTF!?!" segment, and that's probably because it was impossible to top.



The Daily Show: The 11/3 Project

As I said before, calling Glenn Beck "batshit crazy" wasn't good enough for Jon Stewart.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The 11/3 Project
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

BET 2009 Hip-Hop Awards: Cypher #3, featuring Mos Def, Black Thought, and Eminem

2009 was yet another great year for mediocre Hip-Hop. I only watched the 2009 BET Hip-Hop Awards for two reasons: 1) To talk shit about it on Twitter, and 2) to see the "Cypher" segments, since they're usually better than the entire show. This one in particular was probably the best ever. (Black Thought: "Rock-roller, bipolar like Phylis Hyman". Eminem: "I'm a fuckin' cross between Osama, Dahmer, Obama, and Dalai Lama".)

The Life and Times of DJ Calculus, Chapter One: Ambitions

(If you haven't already, you can check out the prologue here.)

I remember it like it was yesterday: when my oldest brother, an avid record collector at the time, came home with a copy of "The Adventures of Grandmaster Flash on the Wheels of Steel". It was one of the first times I had ever heard mixing, and the first time anyone had put out a record with scratching on it. I remember wondering what that sound was, thinking that Flash was intentionally moving the needle across the record (gimmie a break - I was eight years old). It's something I would have never tried, but I was still fascinated with the sound.

Some time later, my mom decided that she could trust me enough with the stereo equipment to actually let me play the records and not "let one of the older kids play it". (You can read about how my mom influenced my love of music here.) Maybe a year after that - I think I was twelve - my brother came home with Herbie Hancock's "Rockit", the song that brought scratching into the mainstream. I still didn't know how the sound was created until I saw Hancock and Grand Mixer D.ST. perform it on Saturday Night Live. My eyes were glued to the TV as D.ST. simply moved the record on the turntable back and forth, and I thought, That's all?!

That's when I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I'm sure I wasn't the only aspiring DJ who used their mom's record player as a learning tool of sorts. She caught me several times scratching on it, usually with that copy of "Rockit". Yes, I was scolded, spanked, or otherwise punished everytime she caught me, but that didn't stop me. I had ambition, dammit! (Or maybe I was just hard-headed. Whatever.) Hell, I even went as far as giving myself a DJ name: Grand Mixer C. (I know, I know. But if you ask your favorite DJ about his/her first choice, they'll tell you something just as corny, if not more corny.)

As time went by, Hip-Hop became a major distraction - well, that and the Thriller album. I began to hear and see televised performances from groups who had DJs I would come to idolize: Will "Fresh Prince" Smith had DJ Jazzy Jeff, Run-DMC had Jam Master Jay, LL Cool J had Cut Creator - the list goes on and on. Even a neighbor of ours was a DJ! But it would still be years before I got to live out my dream (partly because said neighbor wouldn't allow me to touch his equipment, either. Damn).

Fast-forward a few years: Sometime in the late 90s, I met a DJ who had no problems letting me try my hand at mixing and scratching. I don't think I took the lessons too seriously because I didn't believe, after so much time had passed (I was now in my mid-20s), that I would actually become a DJ. After a few months, the lessons stopped for reasons I don't really remember.

May, 2000: I went out to this slightly-bigger-than-a-hole-in-the-wall bar in New Orleans called the Audubon Hotel on St. Charles, not far from Lee Circle. A pretty low-class joint (at the time) considering its location, but good for cheap drinks and real Hip-Hop. Anyway, after a burst of Budweiser-induced courage, I asked the DJ if I could spin a few joints, and for whatever reason - maybe he was in desperate need of a restroom break - he said yes. What followed was the sonic equivalent of your average DJ trying to mix while tumbling down a flight of stairs - or at least that's how I heard it. However, a few songs later, the DJ (who we'll refer to from here on out as "DJ True") walked up and asked, "How come you didn't ask me to get on before?" Maybe he heard a good set, or maybe he just heard potential.

Nevertheless, after that night, things changed.

NEXT: The Music and the Madness